This year was no different than any other—I had a grand plan to dress up for Halloween. Since I paid tribute to Katniss Everdeen last year (see what I did with the wordplay there?), I thought it would be fun to put together an homage to Hermione Granger this year.
Operation Hermione would require very little effort, I reasoned. We already have a Gryffindor tie in the house—you can be jealous if you want—I own a black skirt, white Oxford blouse and I can make my hair wavy. All I needed was to procure a Gryffindor robe.
“We’ve got black graduation robes from college,” I thought. “I could turn this into a DIY project!”
And then I chuckled and remembered that I’m me. While I probably could make it work, the time and money expended would be far more costly than simply buying a costume robe that would inevitably look better anyway.
So search online, I did. There are a number of replicas (quality unknown) that ship from Hong Kong. Sadly, international shipping wasn’t really an option since I decided to start looking on Friday of last week. (A planner, I am not.)
There’s also a really sweet “authentic” robe from the Universal Orlando online store; it can be yours for a Franklin and Hamilton. Tempting, indeed, but still no guarantee that it would arrive on time.
I checked Targets and Wal-Marts aplenty to no avail*, which left me with no choice but to darken the door of one of those stupid Halloween shops. To the Harry Potter section I went.
What’s that? A hat? Crazy, talking, sorting hat? We’ve been there, we’ve done that, we see you’ve got a sorting hat.
Want a clunky pair of HP spectacle frames with a scarf that looks as though it were made of scarlet toilet paper? Oh, they’re all over that, too.
Feel like getting all Slytherin-y with your bad self? Pop-up cash-grab store has that covered…and the cheapo robe was only $60. After seeing the pricetag on that one, I quit feeling sad over the lack of Gryffindor robes. The high-dollar “authentic” version was looking even better.
*All was not lost: I picked up a $9 adult-sized Man of Steel cape at Wal-Mart.
With the prospect of Hermione seeming ever more distant, I decided to change dressing directions. I could sport my new cape with a Star Wars t-shirt and masquerade as a 5-year-old version of myself. All I’d need to do was buy some sweat pants and velcro shoes; the core stuffs of Wally-World.
This seemed a fantastic idea up until the point that I tried on said attire last night. It was atrocious! When a kid dresses that way, it’s a cute expression of their interests. When an adult dresses that way, particularly for work, it’s a disturbing bit of anti-eye-candy that you can’t unsee.
Rather than inflict that on my coworkers, I practiced mercy.
Today I wear my Stormtrooper hoodie…and only zip it all the way when asked.
This year was no different than any other—I had a grand plan to dress up for Halloween. And like most other years, I failed miserably.