nesting * geeking * critiquing

Speed Dating

There’s really only one question I need to ask to find out how compatible I am with someone…

Wal-Mart or Target?speed-dating

I’ll admit, Wal-Mart’s not without its virtues: you can find just about anything there, including things you can’t find anywhere else. They even sell actual goldfish, not just the crackers! Just don’t get too attached because they’ll likely die within hours, days or weeks. But generally speaking, my social aversion steers me away from Wal-Mart, particularly if I have a choice.

For me, going into Wal-Mart at a peak time (like, say, a Saturday afternoon) is about as pleasant as causing a ruckus near a beehive without wearing any sort of protective suit. My blood pressure elevates, I break into a sweat and I really just want to run away. And also cry. And maybe shove people on my way out the door and yell at them to stop wearing pajama pants in public.

Target, on the other hand, feels somewhat inviting. Not calming exactly, but more my speed. Though the overall footprint is more intimate, there’s no attempting to squeeze past the ravenous crowds that swarm the discount dvd bins. If you’ve visited the ‘Mart on a weekend night (or, heaven forbid, Black Friday) and stumbled upon the electronics section, you know that it’s frighteningly reminiscent of the final scene in The Walking Dead pilot episode.

Selections frequently change at Target, so I enjoy browsing the collections. And the clearance! Markdowns are plentiful, which tempts me to take my time and peruse every aisle and endcap. Plus, prices are competitive—contrary to popular belief—and the toy selection blows Wal-Mart out of the water (in this neck of the woods, anyway).

Some Target stores even have ICEE machines at their little cafes. And those with mini-Starbucks have the scent of coffee gently wafting through the air, which I find far more appealing than the diaper-like odor of Subway’s meatball subs at Wal-Mart. (I blame Subway for that atrocity, not Wal-Mart.) Speaking of diaper-like odors, the bathrooms at Target are typically, though not always, nicer. It’s a good feeling to encounter generally clean facilities when you’ve got to answer nature’s call.

For the record, I’m neither attempting nor intending to be an elitist. Our travels have taught me that I’d be inclined to take Wal-Mart over Fred Meyer any day. There are even some shockingly nice Wal-Marts sprinkled across the country; we’ve discovered them in Washington and Colorado. There are even a few that I like here in the Show-Me State. Moreover, Wal-Mart exists in many places where Target doesn’t, and that accessibility matters.

But given the option, especially in my native environment, I’m Team Target.

They say opposites attract, and I’ll probably like you even if you do prefer Wal-Mart. Just don’t ask me to go shopping with you. And don’t wear pajama pants in public.

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2 responses

  1. go kmart…they make Walmart look high class

    5.29.2014 at 8:49 am

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