nesting * geeking * critiquing

Enough of the Elf!

It’s still very early in the Christmas season, so I’m going to get this off my chest now lest it fester and spoil my holiday cheer.

Enough with the stupid Elf on the Shelf pictures!

In spite of my childfree status, I can certainly appreciate parents’ desire to keep the Santa magic alive for their little ones. There are few things in life so precious as a child’s fervent belief in good old Saint Nick. In fact, I spent some time discussing Mr. Claus with a little fella at work last Wednesday and have a very sweet interaction to recount one of these days. Today is not that day.

Believe it or not, I happen to think the Elf on the Shelf is kinda fun…or at least preferable to some things. You are welcome to enjoy my mad computer graphic skills for a look at what some of those things might be.Better Than

But I digress. The above does not mean that I care even the tiniest bit about what mischief your elf allegedly causes overnight. Because, really, I don’t. Moreover, I fail to see the point in sharing it on Facebook. It’s only December 4 and I’ve already been subjected to dozens of photos depicting the carefully executed escapades. It would be one thing if I was seeing your child’s half-awake, smiling face or giggly reaction. (Though I did see a couple of those last year, and they’re not really as endearing as one might hope.) Is the overarching idea that I’m supposed to be impressed by your creativity ability to emulate ideas you’ve seen on Pinterest?

Speaking of Pinterest, I’d like to suggest that anyone pinning elf ideas put them on a unique board dedicated solely to that endeavor. I’ve had more than a few unwanted elf pins populate my home feed because I followed someone’s “holiday” board, and I’d have to unfollow the other good ideas to get rid of the elf stuff. It’s not fair! Darn these 21st-century first-world problems. sigh

It must be true that a person’s verbal filter deteriorates as they age, because I’m finding it increasingly hard not to make smart-aleck quips on these dumb Facebook posts. I genuinely fear what kind of loose cannon I’ll have become by the time I reach my elderly years.

While other friends give the obligatory, “Oh, cute idea!” or “I bet JacobSophiaAidenEmmaOliviaNoah loved this!” I’m fighting an overwhelming urge to say, “Congratulations, you deliberately made a mess in your house that you now have to clean up.” And I know a thing or two about making messes, because I can’t keep a clean house without kids.

I propose we petition Facebook to create a “Hide all Elf on the Shelf photos” feature. Would there be some other pictures that were inadvertently hidden? Probably, but I’m willing to take my chances.

Let’s rally, troops! Who’s with me????

{UPDATE: I apparently posted about this very same thing last year. My memory must be going even faster than my verbal filter. Scary!}


One response

  1. Oh man. I didn’t know you were supposed to make a mess with them…I thought you were only supposed to hide them??! Damn, I’m definitely not making a mess when I have kids. I’ll be just hiding the elf somewhere.

    12.5.2013 at 9:34 am

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