nesting * geeking * critiquing

Dance! Don’t Swim

Sleep is awesome. It rejuvenates the body and exposes the mind to a vast world altogether hidden
in the waking realm. Some of the most creative outpourings spring forth from the land of sleep.
Paul McCartney famously penned “Yesterday” from a dream. Mary Shelley and Stephen King both credit dreams for some of their greatest works. And Stephenie Meyer claims a dreamy origin for the wildly popular story of a certain sparkly vampire who fell in love with an utterly human girl—love it or hate it, there’s no denying the success.

A couple of years ago, I had my own fiercely imaginative dream. I considered it wholly absurd at the time, nothing more than silliness. Then last year, I began seeing advertisements for reality TV shows Splash and Stars in Danger: The High Dive. Absurdity is a barrier no more. Imagine if you will…

Don’t Swim

As audiences have come to expect from programs like American Idol and Dancing With the Stars,
a panel of judges sits facing the stage. What sets this apart from the others is the stage floor—or rather, what lies beneath it. Unlike the typical black particleboard flooring, this is clear plexiglass that reveals a daunting body of water below.

Storyboard by Darth Amethystos

In this episode, the stage curtain rises to reveal a massive set designed to resemble the treed ewok village of Endor. A team of dancers and acrobats dressed in ewok costumes performs an interpretive dance to the music of Star Wars (specifically, a medley of the melodic theme “Luke and Leia” and “Parade of the Ewoks”).
A sort of Cirque du Soleil meets Star Wars, one might say.

As the performers embark on their number,
the floor splits in the middle and opens.
Judges can choose to dunk the entire company or individual performers (who are connected to fly cables) should they fail to impress…mid-performance.

See, there’s a chance that somebody can plummet into the water at any given moment, from any height. It’s entertaining and exciting. And a little masochistic.

Each dance team (minus any individuals who swam) that manages to stay dry moves on to the semifinals until one group emerges as the ultimate victor.

You heard it here first, kids. Dance! Don’t Swim. It’s Must-Sea TV. har har


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