I honestly don’t know why I even use Facebook, given that it mostly just makes me dislike people. It’s especially bad around holidays and election time. Whereas the pre-election political junk last month was annoying, the post-election political junk was unbearable. The bitterness spewing forth from those who got their desired results was confounding; the doomsday lament from those who didn’t, exhausting. It was bad enough that I ended up deactivating my account for a few days.
The political dust has settled now, only to be replaced by something worse… Stupid, glittery, overplayed Elf on the Shelf fairy dust.
Every day for the last week or two, I’ve opened my news feed to find countless images of creepy little toy elves doing creepy little things, namely spying on kids and “reporting back to Santa” (read: being played with by parents). If the child was nice, said elf might spend the night having a fun tea party with other toys. If the child was naughty, it might make a big mess that the child has to clean up.
Maybe little kids think this stuff is fun. Maybe other parents like seeing the shared mischievous elf ideas. I don’t fall into either of those categories, I don’t think it’s fun, and I don’t care what your elf did last night. Facebook needs a “hide all Elf on the Shelf posts” option.
Having said all of that, you might suspect that I’m a little grinchy today. You’d be right. It could be because the Coke Freestyle machine at lunch spewed orange soda dye all over me (see my Twitter feed for a pic). Or it could just be because the holiday spirit hasn’t yet swept me off my feet. Worry not; this is how it plays out every year…
I start Christmafying the house and listening to Christmas music on Thanksgiving; Christmafication is completed sometime shortly thereafter. I grump around for a few weeks, trying to get into the spirit of things. Then, sometime around the 20th, I finally start to feel all Christmasy inside. I bake and wrap presents and watch holiday specials and generally love this time of year. Everything builds up to Christmas Day, then suddenly the world wants it all to be over. Do not pass go, do not collect $200, just be done with it. I can’t do that. Late start to the festivities begets a late end, which is why you’ll probably see me scurrying to take down my Christmas tree right before my birthday trip next year. Just over two months and I’ll be back on the West Coast.
Almost makes turning 30 seem worth it.