I Feel So Dirty*
Some nights you do things that just make you feel dirty. Filthy dirty. Disgustingly, ashamedly dirty. You know you’ve fallen into bad-idea territory in the very moments they’re happening—as if in slow motion.
Last night was one such night for yours truly. It started innocently enough: the dogs got skunked.
Like, literally, the dogs were sprayed by a skunk. One skunk, three dogs, all gag-inducingly stinky. And so, born of necessity, Operation Dog De-Stink was hastily (and somewhat clumsily) commenced.
The war theater was set; the bathtub.
Weapons were assembled; hydrogen peroxide, Dawn dish soap and baking soda (thanks, Pinterest!).
Soldiers stood at the ready.
Dogs 1 & 3 De-Stinking was wholly successful. Skunk stench was eradicated after approximately 30 minutes of intensive washing and rinsing.
Things went downhill with Dog 2, as she had taken the full brunt of the enemy critter’s musk. In addition to sharing the pungent aroma, Dog 2 also set to shedding in the tub. So much, in fact, that the drain clogged, culminating in an unpleasant backup of fur, dirty dog water and eau de skunque.
As I crouched to rinse her underbelly, the water level rose up over my ankles. Puppé Le Pew moved, and I ended up on my bum in the water next to her. Never have I felt more disgusting than while stewing in skunk filth with sopping wet dog hair caking my arms and legs. Such are not the “together times” you want to spend with man’s best friend.
Eventually, Dog 2 emerged from her decontamination pool, relatively reek-free. It wasn’t until 0400 that I caught a whiff of her lingering odor.
Today’s motto: That Stinks!
*I was going to title this post, “I’m Such a Dirty Girl” but feared the audience it might draw.