An Embedded Plea to George Lucas
I’ve been writing for the better part of my life, so I know a lot about rejection. Not everybody can be a Stephenie Meyer…oh, wait.
Anyway, today presented the chance for me to put the cherry on top of my career*. And that’s coming from a girl who helped concept two Star Wars greeting cards that currently are available at most Wal-Mart stores. I’m surprised there aren’t throngs of people waiting for my autograph. (Would somebody create a sarcasm font already?!)
I was tasked with
penning tweaking some personality copy to suit a new Christmas product. Not just any Christmas product, mind you: a Star Wars one. AND it was an ewok theme on top of that (“haters gonna hate” but I’m an ewok kid through and through). Ewoks+Christmas=awwww, yeah!
You’re all familiar with the classic Return of the Jedi masterpiece “Yub Nub,” unless your first exposure to Star Wars was via the 1997 “Special Edition” wherein George Lucas decided to change the song—and numerous other scenes that I will refrain from bashing because it’s his franchise, for Hoth’s sake, and he can do what he wants with it. Incidentally, I didn’t realize there was anyone who didn’t know about this original scene until a dear family friend asked me what some sheet music was for because it didn’t match the melody at the end of the (‘remastered’) movie. Such sadness befell my heart.
Forgive me, but my brain just stormed a wondrous idea, and I don’t care that it’s slightly off topic and makes for a jumpy reading experience. <clears throat>
Dear Uncle George, please consider the following recommendation as a means of further padding your retirement fund whilst scoring brownie points with your adoring public…
It would be amazing if we could order customized versions of the Star Wars films. Make each scene a la carte, then people can put it together the way they want. For instance, let’s say I want to see the end of ROTJ where crusty, dying Darth/Anakin’s eyebrows don’t look like furry caterpillars but I do want to keep the original Yub Nub song. Or maybe I want the cleaned-up TIE Fighter sequences from Ep IV but I hate the unnecessary, distracting CGI bit on Mos Eisley. And also the fact that a TIE Fighter explodes almost as big as the entire planet of Alderaan. <sigh>
You see, instead of charging $40 for a 3-pack set of blu-rays, you could charge $50 per customized disc. Brilliant!
Help us, Uncle George; you’re our only hope.
But back to my workday. We had some existing copy that I was working with for said ewok packaging, so I came up with two options that I thought were pretty great. So great, in fact, that I presented them directly to our Lucasfilm licensing liaison.
- All I want for Christmas is yub nub.
- Get ready for 25 days of yub nub!
As such fate often befalls those in my career field, my suggestions were repudiated in favor of a more generic line. A generic line that won out not due to underappreciation of my creativity but rather failure to adhere to the editorial strategy for the particular program. A generic line that squelched my dreams of being symbolically hoisted on the shoulders of fellow geeks who so appreciated the insight I instilled in my product. The sudden reinvigoration of the fanboy/girl community from the revelation that this SW product is, in fact, by the people and for. the. people.
It’s not enough for SW stuff to be produced by people who could maybe pick out Darth Vader in a lineup. No, it’s time we stand up and create meaningful miscellany—the etymological irony is not lost on me—as the people who really know what we’re talking about, the people who understand what fellow fanatics want to buy. The tide is turning thanks to Pinterest and Etsy (yo, John DiBiase) and numerous limited-edition t-shirt companies (I’m looking at you, RIPT and Tee Fury), but we still have a long way to go with the larger mainstream merchants.
So let’s get out there and get some corporations buying into the underutilized pool of creators who also happen to drop a ton of money on geekworthy stuff. This yub’s for you, friends.
*as you can see, my goals are far from lofty.