nesting * geeking * critiquing

Same Tune, Different Lyrics

Saw Snow White and the Huntsman tonight.  Visually and stylistically, it excels.  Armored knights shattering into shrapnel, a majestic deer dissolving into a flurry of butterflies, the wicked queen morphing to/from a flock of ravens—intoxicating.  The cinematography alone was worth my $5.  The orchestral score, not so much.  It was like John Williams on steroids, but totally not in a good way.  Moments that didn’t seem all that climactic had big, melodramatic flourishes.  Not altogether bad, but not my favorite.  As far as the rest of the storytelling, well…

I couldn’t help but think I’ve seen this movie before.  Kristen Stewart jumps off a cliff, gets hit by a wave and crashes into rocks, comes up sputtering and coughing.  Kristen Stewart stumbles through the forest, somewhat clumsily.  Kristen Stewart dances awkwardly.  Kristen Stewart must decide between two men.  Kristen Stewart writhes in pain while her life is at stake.  Kristen Stewart wears a long, white dress.  Kristen Stewart dies, but not forever.  Kristen Stewart sports her signature dumbfounded pout (you know, the mouth-open-but-not-smiling look).  Now if only I could figure out why that all seems so familiar.  Hmmm.

The Thor/huntsman guy was as I expected, in spite of the fact that I’ve never seen Thor.  I imagine the only real difference here was that he wielded an axe instead of a hammer thing.

As for Charlize Theron: spectacularly horrifying.  She was equally gorgeous and the perfect embodiment of a wicked, evil, meany mean queen.  I was also impressed that she managed to stifle her laughter every time the guy with the bad hair entered a scene…and she convincingly conveyed her fear (and fury) that Kristen Stewart was more “fair” than she.  That’s got to be Oscar-worthy acting.

Now before I start getting hate mail about how beautiful and talented Kristen Stewart is, let me say that I  do like her.  She is quite pretty, and I’d be happy if I looked more like her.  I also appreciate her acting, but in Bella-type roles more so than royalty.  It’s just that she kind of seems like a girl that got snatched out of a high school parking lot and thrown into blockbuster flicks.  And that’s not altogether a bad thing; makes her more relatable than most big-name celebs.  Or maybe I’m just jealous that Robert Pattinson apparently has a thing for her. sigh.

In short, glad I saw the film at the theater, would definitely watch it again, but don’t plan to buy it.


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